MARC ANTHONY REVIEW
As a kid did you ever send off for those Sea Monkeys? How you looked forward to seeing their whiskered little faces sharing a civilized pot of tea, gathered round the breakfast table, like they did in the ads. Remember how disappointed you were when what arrived in your mailbox were a couple of elementary school biology bugs? I hate to say it, but never build up your hopes that much. You'll fall. I fell, or rather, I tripped over Marc Anthony.'The biggest budgeted gay movie of all time' they boasted. I was hooked. I love their back catalog - not just for the hot-Euro-sex but also for their really bad dubbing. We all know that when it comes to Mansize (nee Private Man) if it looks like Tarzan, it'll talk like Jane.Filmed in tandem (i.e. they used the same sets) with Private's phenomenally successful straight Cleopatra series of films, Marc Anthony delivers the sex, but not the 'hilarious comedy' I was also looking forward to. Ok, it's beautifully shot, packaged, edited and the sex is amazing (as usual for Private) but only nine performers? But here's the story: Cleopatra is told by her crystal ball (similar to the Wicked Witch of the West's one) that the empires of Egypt and Rome must combine and she must produce an heir with Marc Anthony. Send for him! Bad news honey, he's so flaming he couldn't say DVD without a lisp. Bring forth the Euro-studs.We open in Rome and Foz is desperate to splash something across boyfriend Anthony's face, as he massages our hero (played by hunky, dark and sultry Perez) with his tongue. Both are gorgeous beyond us mere mortals, and their sex is passionate and deep-kiss heavy. Once that ass is well and truly eaten out and spit-lubed Foz slides up the Roman hero and fucks him like a Visigoth. The spooge flies and we cut to elsewhere in the city where Caesar (Volt) get's horny when he hears of Cleo's plans - the Roman Empire will expand. And so is something underneath his toga! Luckily Deny, a slave, is around t