ROOTS OF THE 'RICAN REVIEW
Honesty pays, so here goes nothing.I'm English; I've only just moved here and haven't seen a Latino movie before. (Apart from the Bjorn ones but those performers are simply oversized caricatures of what mean are supposed to look like.) I'm talking real Latin Americans, the kind of which I'd only ever seen on Cops before. After watching this, I'm hungry for more, but I'm not au fait with the gringo lingo yet so don't expect any mentions of pingas, papis or anything else that pepper the other reviews. And what's a banjee boy? Does he play the banjo?Why get a Latino-virgin to review this? Coz I'm bloody good. That's why. Directed by La Monde, who always gets the word Rican in his titles, this is a professional amateur piece that looks like it had all of forty cents spent on it. But I come to praise, not bury.Here's a bunch of performers of all races, yet they all still manage to look street-tough, dirty and capable of slitting your throat if you gave them reckless eyeballs. OK, they look like they are doing it for the crack money. But if you are keen on mean you'll like this. Altogether now: 'Skinny Crack Whores, and I don't care. The Master's Gone Away!'Actually I've thought of a joke. A horny man walks through Harlem and picks up a guy. The guy stops halfway through the encounter and says 'Men pay handsomely for my favors.' The man sighs and flicks through his wallet 'I've only got two bucks.' The trick frowns and replies, 'Oh no, I haven't got any change.' Baa-dum!Get past the Colicovision titles and settle down to a story that'll make you both hard and amused at the same time. When the credits fizzle out we are treated to a badly framed map of Puerto Rico obviously stolen from a neighborhood kid's schoolbook. The voice over begins and the Latino-fan-man whets our appetite with the promise of 'beautiful collages of multi-colored races coming together for mutual pleasure.' Stop giggling at the back of the class. He continues to deliv